In actuality, I never really had a daddy. Sure, I have a biological father. We share a house, 2/3 of a name (his is Edwin Ernest Christian II, whilst I am Edwin Peter Christian), a love of music, and a bunch of genes. Our young'n'hood pictures are even practically identical, save for the lack of colour in his. Yet despite all these common traits, I have many times felt a great distance between my father and I.
He is my dad. Not my daddy.
I believe in openness (see "Get Naked! A Social Experiment" in the future), but I will not use that as an excuse to gossip about other people, no matter how true the stories are or how close the person is to me. So I'm not going to complain about all the things I've been mad at dad about. I can speak for my own problems, though, and I truthfully say that the one person I have struggled most to Love, no, the one person I have hated, has been my father.
Because sometimes I feel hurt. Or cheated. Or that mum got the raw end of a deal. There are things that I have had such a hard time forgiving, even things that aren't his fault. He does care for us, and tries to show his Love. It's just a pale misfortune that the main way he shows Love is by buying stuff. Which would be nice, but since I've claimed an anti-consumerist attitude, it's almost like I've become anti-my-father by default.
It is sort of a constant truth of nature. It's often hardest to love the people who you are closest to. You see this story every day.
But I've decided that I don't want it to be this way. If I am to become an advocate of Love and Peace, I need that to come down to my every action and interaction. Maybe the situation isn't ideal, and maybe my dad will never be the perfect family man, but I'm okay with that. He's my father, and I choose to Love him.
So this is my resolution. To learn to truly Love my father. Not only that, but to respect him and his opinions, and to really like him. Because he is a good person, I choose to see the good in him. I will treat him like a friend, so he can be a friend.
2 comments:
My Dear peter pan,
our example of love is supposed to come from our parents, which in turn is supposed to reflect God.
And sometimes that chain breaks down. My heart goes out to you P. P. (ha ha) But I think you are taking a mature approach on it.
Sometimes... love is a decision. Especially those times when you really don't want to love that person, you have to decide to. It's not always just a feeling.
Amo~ Sholene
Post a Comment