The Definition of Adulthood

"Being an adult means that it's your turn to do good for other
people." --Mom

music > sex

Sure, sex is pretty cool, but if I had to choose, I would definitely
go with music, hands down.

Profound

It's not that I haven't been thinking lately. Discovery just seems so much less profound when someone is being paid to help you along with the process. For example, psychology class is fascinating. I've learned that ADHD is much less real than we think, and that lots of answers to prayer are most likely just placebos and self-fulfilling prophecies (sort of casts a different light on "your faith has made you whole"). In music history, I've been learning about the unearthly sounds of modern music, such as the use of atonality (meaning the song has no key or tonal centre—conservatives: if you think rock music is of the devil, wait until you hear this!). And leadership has been popping up in little places telling me what my strengths are, and what a strength is in a first place. And the most exciting, for me at least, is that I'm (attempting) learning some of the most famous and hardest arias in opera history (i.e. "Fiiiiigaro, Fiiiiiigaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro...."). At least it seems that way.

So why is my mind so numb?

Maybe it has to do with my lumpy shrivelly feet. I don't know where they came from, but I know that I went on a ski trip on Sunday and the next day I woke up and found the areas between my heel and arch on both feet, er, shriveled. It's very bizarre. At first I freaked out and thought it was athlete's foot, but the symptoms don't match at all. Perhaps the strangest thing is that they don't feel itchy or painful or uncomfortable in any way, and don't smell any worse than usual. But those lumps just aren't going away. Maybe I've contracted a foreign foot fungus, and I can be sold in a museum. That's one way to make bike money! So, if you, the reader, happen to be a dermatologist, any diagnosis?

The good news is that I am the proud owner of a brand spankin' new

which means my water intake is going to go up. It's even sexier than the picture! It's very shiny and comfortable in the hand (ellipses beat circles any day!) and just the right size. Thanks to Katie, I am now one more step towards being relatively cancer-free. (For the others, check out these bottles at mysigg.com. Way rockin'-er than Nalgene.)

Rebuilding a Family

I have thought up many complaints about how my house doesn't feel like
a home—How my immediate family doesn't seem like my real family.

I got home from California early this morning and went to my room.
It was just how I left it—my guitars in one corner, my books on the
shelf, my papers strewn atop the double-size bed.
And I realized that I had created my own cocoon. A refuge for my own
personal isolation. Everything I need (save a lasting water supply and
chamber pots) is kept in my quarters, so I need only leave when I have
various appointments—school for instance.

I realized that—though I complain about distance between the members
of our family—I was adding to the distance. Maybe I'm not the only
problem, but I'd much rather be the solution.

So from this day forward I make a pledge to use my room only when
necessary. This means sleep, and sometimes not even that. If I'm going
to be serious about this openness thing, I need to stop hiding! If I'm
serious about Loving everyone, I need to learn to really Love the
people closest (geographically & hereditarily) to me.

So, no more privacy for me.

(Coming soon: "Get Naked! — A Social Experiment ")

What's in a Name?

"Her lips by any other name would taste as sweet...."

You know all that bother around the holiday season—Christians bugged
at people who write "Christmas" as "Xmas?" "Hells no! You's done X'ed
out my Christ!" Well, this may be horribly insensitive of me, but I've
begun spelling my last name "Xian." I mean, hey! It's short and sweet,
and looks kinda Asian! What else could you want in a name? (Plus it
gets kinda confusing when I say "I'm not a Christian." "Oh yes you
are!" Point.)

So what if I ever got married? Okay, it's not really on my list of things to do before I die, but a guy can't help but wonder if that special lass may one day come along....

It has been traditional for many years: When a man and woman come together as one, this truth is further evinced by them uniting under one (sur)name, usually the husband's. This symbolizes the woman's passing from the care of one man (her father) to the next (her Lover). When people began using their family trades and occupations as last names (i.e. Baker or Smith), it made sense for the lass to change her name to match her new family career. So the new bride is not only donning a new name and family. She begins a completely new way of life.

Today things are a bit different. What with feminism and equal rights,
as well as the decline of family business, people are becoming less
and less likely to side with tradition, myself included. Some couples
put their two names into one as a mutual sacrifice, symbolizing a
completely new creation. The names are combined either as wholes (a
hyphenated and really long one) or in parts (a sort of pseudonym).
Some husbands change their names to match their ladies'. And some couples don't change their names at all, out of convenience.

This is all very well, but it makes things a bit more difficult when
naming the young'ns, and when tracking down family history. And what about the people who marry several times?

(Topics will be further explored in future posts about Love & sex. Mostly because I can't think of any way to finish th

My Values

Optimism: Am I finding the joy in everything?
Because one's outlook on life largely determines the life's outcome, I choose to live with joy, as I believe it is the best way to make myself and others happy.

Gentleness: Am I letting Peace on Earth begin with me?
If I am to be an advocate of Peace in general, I need to live up to that standard in my personal choices. Because I truly believe that an affirmative Peace is the best way to live, I will not threaten it, even if it compromises my personal opinions.

Truth: Am I expressing my self, my whole self, and nothing but my self?
I strongly believe that if each person were to be completely open about who they are, and what good and bad they have in their lives, we would live in a near-utopian society, where we could truly know each other and respect each other's differences. Because I believe this, I choose to share myself with others as openly as possible. I must also keep an open mind to others as they share with me.

Interdependence: Am I cultivating community?
My friends are of the greatest value to me. Because people matter, I will act like it. Because life is short, I will not pretend to take more pleasure in interacting with a machine than a real human being. Because I Love people, and I Love nothing else, I will give them my upmost attention, even if it may cause me personal loss.

Wisdom: Am I moving forward?
I am on a journey to unknowable depths, and I acknowledge that I may never arrive at Point B. I will not, however, become complacent where I am, and will continue to strive forward in search for who-knows-what.